Nasreddin Hodja Stories

i love nasreddin hoca stories, i no heaps. but im afraid if i tranlsate then the original humour will disappear. yet i'l try...

One day a man was on a tree picking apples. our nasreddin hoca was walking by and realised it was time for prayer. not realising the man on the tree, the hoca went to the shade of that tree and began to pray.

after he prayed he then said this, "oh allah, plz accept my prayer"

the man on the tree decided to play a joke by saying "i dont accept"

the hoca got surprised, then said it again "oh allah, plz accept my prayer"

the man once again said "i dont accept"

now the hoca was really confused and said "oh allah, plz accept my prayer"

the guy said it again "i dont accept"

then the hoca got up in fury and sed "ok then, dont accept, i didnt have wudu anyway!!"

wudu/abdest = a wash that muslims MUST do before prayer

Nasreddin Hodja

Flour was put on the string

One of the Hodja neighbours once needed some string to use as for his clothing line. The neighbour went to the Hodja and said:

"My Hodja, i havent got enough string, could you please give one of your spare ones".

However the Hodja did not want to give any string, however he could not simply say that he did not want to give the string. So he went inside his house, and wasted a bit of time inorder to make it seem like he was looking for the string. Although he had no intention to give the string.

He went back to his door and starting by saying:

 "iam afraid to say that i will be unable to give the string to you, this is becouse my wife has put flour on the string"

The neighbour was shocked, and responded:

"How can one put flour onto string"

The Hodja responded in by saying:

"Lets not make this go on my neighbour, The way in which i havent got the heart to give the string is the same way in which flour can be put on string."

I doubt that Nasreddin Hoca would talk about sex in such a manner.

Nasreddin Hoca is a real person that existed. A Hoca is unlikely to talk in such a manner.

Perhaps such stories were made after his death.

Those adult stories are decipheredfrom the old texts in Ottoman script by Prof. Dr. Pertev Naili Boratav in his book "Nasreddin Hoca". His tales were censored and "tamed" in the modern times. In fact, these tales are very much like the ones in the "Decameron" of Boccaccio in the sense of adultry and moral freedom. Two stories from that book:

When Hodja leaves his house he sees that someone shat in front of the door. One day, two days,... this continues. One day he decides to observe what's happening. After a while, a boy comes and sh*ts in front of the door. Hodja catches him and asks: "What are you doing?! Whose son are you?!" The boy says:" I'm the son of the God's sister!" Then Hodja takes him to thegate of a mosque and says: "Then sh*t in front of your uncle's door!"

Second one:

One day Hodja's wife learns that having sex in the evening brings merit of God as if you sacrifice a sheep; having sex at midnight brings merit of God as if you sacrifice a camel and having sex at dawn brings merit of God as if you set a slave free. When they go to bed in the evening she says to Hodja:"Let's gain merit of God as if we sacrifice a sheep" and they have sex. At midnight she says: "Let's gain merit of God as if we sacrifice a camel" and they have sex. At dawn again she says: "  Let's gain merit of God as if we set a slave free" and the tired Hodja says  "You can gain that merit if you set me free!" 

There are also very hardcore stories but I don't want my post to be deleted!

Nasreddin (also commonly spelled Nasrudin, Nasredin, Nasruddin, Nasr Eddin, Nastradhin, Nasreddine, Nastratin, Nusrettin) was a lower Muslim cleric who lived in Central Asia during the Middle Ages. His name is often preceded or followed by the title of a religious scholar, theological teacher, or man of wisdom: "Khwaje", "Hodja", "Hoca", "Hogea", "Hodza", "Chotzas", "Mullah", "Mulla", "Molla", "Maulana".

Nasreddin was a populist philosopher and wise man, remembered for his funny stories and anecdotes. He often appears as a whimsical character of a large Persian, Arab, and Turkish folk tradition of vignettes, not entirely different from zen koans.

Where and when he was born, and where and when he died, are not known with certainty, but he is usually assumed to have lived in Anatolia or Persia between the 11th and the 14th century. He is well known among various Eastern people. Possibly due to the fact that his stories are shared among pilgrims to Mecca, his humor is familiar, under different names, to people from China, Central Asia, and Morocco. There is a modern tomb dedicated to him in the city of Akşehir in Turkey. He is also the symbol of Akşehir, which hosts several statues of Nasreddin Hoca and an international festival dedicated to him. The city of Bukhara in Uzbekistan also has a statue of him riding his donkey backwards and grasping its tail (as he is traditionally depicted), and journals bear his name in Baku, Azerbaijan and Tabriz, Iran.

The anecdotes attributed to him reveal a satirical personality with a biting tongue that he was not afraid to use even against the most tyrannical sultans of his time. He seems to be the symbol of both the Central Asian style satirical comedy and the rebellious feelings of people against the dynasties that once ruled this geography. A recent study on historical written sources by Pertev Naili Boratav revealed that there also exist a large collection of stories attributed to Nasreddin, which dominantly possess political incorrectness or challenge the order and values of the society.

Some mystic traditions use jokes, stories and poetry to express certain ideas, allowing the bypassing of the normal discriminative thought patterns. The rationality that confines and objectifies the thinking process is the opposite to the intuitive, gestalt mentality that the mystic is attempting to engage, enter and retain.

By developing a series of impacts that reinforce certain key ideas, the rational mind is occupied with a surface meaning whilst other concepts are introduced. Thus paradox, unexpectedness, and alternatives to convention are all expressed. These are among the reasons why people laugh at the tales of Hodja Nasrudin. Although there are several books that attempt to put together the many jokes attributed to him, most people encounter his jokes in the context of their daily lives. Often, a Nasreddin joke is told by one party when the other party makes the kind of mistake that Nasreddin had parodied.

Some tales of Nasreddin are also adapted and used as teaching stories by followers of Sufism. This is such a common practice that, given the nature of many of Nasreddin's jokes, multiple interpretations (or several 'layers' of meaning) are to be expected. Idries Shah, a well-known Sufi and writer, published a number of collections of Nasrudin stories (see list below), and suggested that the stories' various layers of meaning have a teaching-effect.

Mark Twain's Library of Humor includes a story attributed to Nasreddin Hoja.

In some Bulgarian folklore tales originated during the Ottoman rule, the name appears as an antagonist to a local wise man, named Hitar Petar (Хитър Петър, meaning "cunning Peter").