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The Most One-sided Battle in History

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AnchoritSybarit View Drop Down
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  Quote AnchoritSybarit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: The Most One-sided Battle in History
    Posted: 22-Mar-2017 at 17:39
Plus the Texans did not defeat the Mexican Army.  They made a surprise attack against a sleeping flying wing of the Mexican Army which happened to have the Mexican Supreme Commander (Santa Anna) in attendance.  Had he not been there there would be no state of Texas in the US.
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AnchoritSybarit View Drop Down
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  Quote AnchoritSybarit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 23-Mar-2017 at 01:40
I have a proposal which beats any and all entries.  In fact this battle cannot possibly be beaten.

I recently read one of those books with improbable and unusual historic events.  It described a battle in the 17th Century between the Austro-Hungarians and the Turks.  The Emperor wanted to follow in the footsteps of his hero Frederick the Great, so he decided to carry war to the Turks.  For various reasons but basically he dismissed the only capable general he had because he was too old.  He then proceeded to assemble his army which as usual was the typical polyglot Austro-Hungarian mish mash.  The multiplicity of languages meant that not only were officers and men  unable to communicate but even men within given units were facing a language barrier.

Nevertheless they headed east to do battle with the perfidious Turk.  It was late fall heading into winter.  They were strung out for miles along a river bank.  At dusk the van reached a river which they crossed and to their amazement found a band of gypsies on the other side.  They immediately made arrangements to commandeer their alcoholic refreshments and negotiated an exclusivity contract for the services of the gypsy women.

When the next unit in line came up they took exception to the aforesaid arrangements and a loud brawl broke out.  Units coming up behind them heard the clamour and decided it must be the Turks attacking.  As screams of "the Turks are coming" was heard by the 1st 2 units they decided they must be under attack and scrambled to retreat back across the river.  The scramble to the rear grew exponentially and men from different units began to fight each other to be the first to safety.

The roads were clogged and men were thrown into the river and swept away in the mad rush to safety.  Caught up in the panic the Emperor himself was unhorsed and knocked into the river.  He was so badly injured that he died of exposure a few days later.

So the numbers run thus--Austro-Hungarians=50,000     Turks 000000000.  Beat that.


Edited by AnchoritSybarit - 23-Mar-2017 at 01:51
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