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This is no way to be woken up in the morning !

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  Quote Marlin47 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: This is no way to be woken up in the morning !
    Posted: 10-Jun-2013 at 03:44
Laying newly wakened in bed this morning, and with temples throbbing and stomach churning ( too much
Champagne at the post "Open Garden" party in the village last night ! ), I was gingerly sipping at my Lapsong Souchong and nibbling at a Rich Tea biscuit ( I find it always helps to get something solid into ones stomach before attempting the manoeuvres required to get out of bed ), I was blearily gazing at "The Daily Telegraph" whilst my teenage daughter turned the pages for me to my cries of " Quiet,Damn it,stop rustling those pages so noisily ! " .........and what did I see on page eleven ?  Oh, joy of joys, a saucily posed picture of my schoolboy heartthrob ( not to say object of spottily adolescent lust ! )
Christine Keeler !!!!!  She was stripped to the buff with only a towel as small as a postage stamp covering her very essential essentials.  Feeling better with each passing second, I foolishly allowed my eyes to drift a couple of inches across the page to another picture.    Aaargh ! It was of the same languidly beautiful, steamily sexy, long legged Christine, the object of so much trembling teenage lust on my part, 
BUT AGED 71 !!!!!    Take it from me ! There are no words adequate to describe the catastrophically traumatic, shatteringly shocking, wrenchingly unsettling emotions I was subjected to !  I near as Damn it nearly choked on my "Rich Tea " biscuit.    An experience of this nature should no be inflicted upon a man of my age in any condition he may find himself in, let alone after a surfeit of Champagne and stuffed olives.    There ought to be a law against it !!!!
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  Quote medenaywe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10-Jun-2013 at 06:42
Law against awaking we call Death!LOLDead men could not be awoken!Thanks God You are alive
Merlin47!Smile
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  Quote Marlin47 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10-Jun-2013 at 07:36
Originally posted by medenaywe

Law against awaking we call Death!LOLDead men could not be awoken!Thanks God You are alive
Merlin47!Smile

As to whether or not I am actually ever alive at 8 o/clock in the morning is entirely a matter of some conjecture. However, whatever my state of stasis, it is, happily, not beyond recovery by a cup of 
Lapsong Souchong and a Rich Tea biscuit.    Mind you, if even they do not waken me from being severely comatose, a picture of a scantily clad Christine Keeler will kick start me nicely. But, when all else has failed, and I appear to have shuffled off my mortal coil, they can always wave in front of my glassy eyes a picture of Mandy Rice-Davies as well !
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  Quote red clay Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10-Jun-2013 at 09:38
Barbara Eden just hit 70,  but she still  can carry off the "I dream of Genie" bit.
 
Mandy Rice-Krispies didn't do much for me, but Keeler had an appealing edge to her.   I think the shock was more do to realization of your own advancement in age.Wink Hmmmmm, let's see, that flap hit the papers here late 60, 61 ?  I remember it even got into "Mad" magazine.  That would put me at about 14- 15.
Your either a little older than I thought, or more advanced as a kid than you think.Big smile
 
My own hitting the wall came when I read that the courts had appointed a guardian for B Bardot.
 
"Arguing with someone who hates you or your ideas, is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter what move you make, your opponent will walk all over the board and scramble the pieces".
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  Quote Marlin47 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10-Jun-2013 at 11:59
" I dream of genie/Jeannie " ?   Surely that was Nelson Eddy and Jeanette Macdonald ?, or more likely Dame Nellie Melba and Caruso ?

You are right, though , about Rice-Davies. However, in mitigation, she was at least a plumptious, dyed blonde example of hot and juicy prime piece of pulchitrude, and what's not to like about that !?

You are quite right, I was advanced as a kid. One can attribute that to having a liberal, open minded Belgian head teacher, who, as far back as 1959, saw that a bunch of snot nosed, suffocatingly repressed,
seethingly hormonal, wet dreaming schoolboys may benefit just a tad from having two or three torridly sexual, rabidly lustful Swedish girls employed as scullery girls. Oh, Ingrid, where are you now !?
I even took up cycling merely to get access to the back of the bike sheds where, equipped with a packet of five " Woodbine " and an old cycling cape spread on the dirt, Ingrid and I whiled the hours away reading each other excerpts of Greek poetry, sang Mendelsohn lullabies and imitated the nearby bunnies doing what bunnies do so eminently well !

As for Bardot being appointed a guardian, there are many of us old Devonians who hunt stags, shoot otters and eat moors ponies for Sunday lunch, who firmly believe that she should have been given a guardian, or, better yet, a padded cell fifty years ago !
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  Quote Centrix Vigilis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10-Jun-2013 at 12:06
Originally posted by Marlin47

Laying newly wakened in bed this morning, and with temples throbbing and stomach churning ( too much
Champagne at the post "Open Garden" party in the village last night ! ), I was gingerly sipping at my Lapsang Souchong and nibbling at a Rich Tea biscuit ( I find it always helps to get something solid into ones stomach before attempting the manoeuvres required to get out of bed ), I was blearily gazing at "The Daily Telegraph" whilst my teenage daughter turned the pages for me to my cries of " Quiet,Damn it,stop rustling those pages so noisily ! " .........and what did I see on page eleven ?  Oh, joy of joys, a saucily posed picture of my schoolboy heartthrob ( not to say object of spottily adolescent lust ! )
Christine Keeler !!!!!  She was stripped to the buff with only a towel as small as a postage stamp covering her very essential essentials.  Feeling better with each passing second, I foolishly allowed my eyes to drift a couple of inches across the page to another picture.    Aaargh ! It was of the same languidly beautiful, steamily sexy, long legged Christine, the object of so much trembling teenage lust on my part, 
BUT AGED 71 !!!!!    Take it from me ! There are no words adequate to describe the catastrophically traumatic, shatteringly shocking, wrenchingly unsettling emotions I was subjected to !  I near as Damn it nearly choked on my "Rich Tea " biscuit.    An experience of this nature should no be inflicted upon a man of my age in any condition he may find himself in, let alone after a surfeit of Champagne and stuffed olives.    There ought to be a law against it !!!!





WARNING....minors should not read due to graphic language. Not that I care but we attempt decorum ntl.


Certainly a travesty Marlin.


Otoh, this puts to mind my first morning at Fortress Leonard Wood circa, May 71. When a bloodshot, whiskey smelling, (cheap whiskey at that) giant of a man, wearing Smokey bear's hat, burst thru the door at approx 0400. Beating a lid to a garbage can, against said can and screamed out:



''Drop your cocks and grab your socks you panty waste bitches. And get on your feet. Cuz ya ass's belong to Uncle Sam now. Welcome to the Army; you motherless, piece of shit, bastards."



I don't recall whether I had been in a lustful dream at 0359 or not. It was ruined. My youthful illusions-delusions were gone. Because it only got worse for the next ten weeks And the rest is...well you know what they say.


Been drinking heavily ever since.
"Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"

S. T. Friedman


Pilger's law: 'If it's been officially denied, then it's probably true'

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  Quote Marlin47 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10-Jun-2013 at 12:32
Do I detect the cry of " Semper Fi  " ! hanging in the air ? Or, and I mean this not in the least derogatory, were you drafted into the US army as a Vietnam intake ?        For my sins I spent nearly four months in Vietnam, a cockup of megaton magnitude arising from my being posted to the bloody Australian Army, whose personnel service couldn't find their arses with both hands and the help of others. 

I never really intended to become a Regular officer, but certainly the bloody Aussies truly put paid to that !
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  Quote Centrix Vigilis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10-Jun-2013 at 12:42
May 19th 1971. Enlisted, US Army.
I was young and impressionable in those days. But I wanted to see beyond my beloved Llano for a while. And I did.



Now I'm old, cynical and still drinking.
"Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"

S. T. Friedman


Pilger's law: 'If it's been officially denied, then it's probably true'

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  Quote red clay Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10-Jun-2013 at 13:57
In a way, I'm envious of both of you.  Aside from my occasional snifter of good cognac or my own homebrew Absinthe, both of which I pay greatly for physically, I'm no longer able to imbibe.  Past a certain point the physical distress caused isn't worth the short term pleasure.
 
 
"Arguing with someone who hates you or your ideas, is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter what move you make, your opponent will walk all over the board and scramble the pieces".
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  Quote Centrix Vigilis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10-Jun-2013 at 14:47
''Past a certain point the physical distress caused isn't worth the short term pleasure.''

yepper....getting there. otoh I'm from the Llano so I suck it up and continue to disregard medico orders generally. Lately. Nope.
"Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"

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Pilger's law: 'If it's been officially denied, then it's probably true'

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  Quote TheAlaniDragonRising Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11-Jun-2013 at 00:08
Don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol. This is what I'm trying to convince myself, but for some reason when reading these fine threads with advocates saying the opposite I find myself thinking, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol. Not all of the time mind you. Plus having had an alcoholic Father there can be this inner conflict saying at times, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol. Saying it this way makes it sound a great deal worse, and longer than it really is. In reality my thoughts get back to the same as what red has said about not enjoying what comes later after the drinking stopping much of it.Smile   
What a handsome figure of a dragon. No wonder I fall madly in love with the Alani Dragon now, the avatar, it's a gorgeous dragon picture.
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  Quote Marlin47 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11-Jun-2013 at 04:53
Originally posted by red clay

In a way, I'm envious of both of you.  Aside from my occasional snifter of good cognac or my own homebrew Absinthe, both of which I pay greatly for physically, I'm no longer able to imbibe.  Past a certain point the physical distress caused isn't worth the short term pleasure.
 
 

Good God Almighty !    You drink Absinthe ?   Even the French have banned that !  That makes me and my drinking as meek and mild as a lamb !

Speaking of banning, I'm off to France next month and have been invited to go and dine on that long prohibited French dish of larks steeped in Cointreau and slowly simmered for about a week. I never can remember its bloody name, but it is so messy to eat that one is not only required to tuck a table cloth under ones chin in order not to get splattered with boiled lark, but one also has to put another table cloth over ones head to avoid nauseating any others diners  ( pretty much the same as my wife demands of me at the dinner table ! )...........it's called something like vol au vente, but of course it ain't.
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  Quote Centrix Vigilis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11-Jun-2013 at 10:46
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/1562561/Frances-songbird-delicacy-is-outlawed.html


''The songbirds slaughtered for a Frenchman's supper.'' Daily Mail. September 7, 2010.

-------------

If you mean this.....Christ man that's a mere mouthful. Have to have 15-20 of the poor little bastards to make a meal.

Otoh seven or eight regular pigeons? That's the ticket. Not to mention the pests wont be around to crap on your hat while flying by.

If I don't hear from you for months, we will know you were busted for eating banned birds.

Spent two nights once, in a French jail, a long time ago in Metz. Drunk and disorderly public conduct. Something about whores and not enough money. Voices being raised after midnight near a cathedral etc....Frogs take that stuff seriously.

Tho in her defense, she was mad when the coppers got me, cause we had yet to negotiate a deal. She even waved a kiss when they threw me in the van.


Twern't to bad tho. The 'la police sergent' at the jail in Metz was a WW2 guy and liked Americans. Only time I ever had a drink in the calaboose. He let me sit out front on a bench, while I was waiting for the MP's from Saarbrucken. He spiked the really shitty coffee with cognac. Don't remember what the food tasted like.

I have loved France ever since.

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  Quote red clay Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11-Jun-2013 at 11:12
Originally posted by Marlin47

Originally posted by red clay

In a way, I'm envious of both of you.  Aside from my occasional snifter of good cognac or my own homebrew Absinthe, both of which I pay greatly for physically, I'm no longer able to imbibe.  Past a certain point the physical distress caused isn't worth the short term pleasure.
 
 

Good God Almighty !    You drink Absinthe ?   Even the French have banned that !  That makes me and my drinking as meek and mild as a lamb !

Speaking of banning, I'm off to France next month and have been invited to go and dine on that long prohibited French dish of larks steeped in Cointreau and slowly simmered for about a week. I never can remember its bloody name, but it is so messy to eat that one is not only required to tuck a table cloth under ones chin in order not to get splattered with boiled lark, but one also has to put another table cloth over ones head to avoid nauseating any others diners  ( pretty much the same as my wife demands of me at the dinner table ! )...........it's called something like vol au vente, but of course it ain't.
 
 
You are not as familiar with absinthe as you think.  One of the few places it wasn't banned is the UK.  Absinthe has a reputation that was greatly unearned.
It's now made in France again and is now even legal in the US.  It's legal anywhere alcholhol is.
 
The flap involves a substance called thujone.  It comes from the plant "Wormwood'.
 
From "How Stuff Works"-
 

­The chemical that's taken all the­ blame for absinthe's hallucinogenic reputation is called thujone, which is a component of wormwood. In very high doses, thujone can be toxic. It is a GABA (Gamma-aminobutyric acid) inhibitor, meaning it blocks GABA receptors in the brain, which can cause convulsions if you ingest enough of it. It occurs naturally in many foods, but never in doses high enough to hurt you. And there's not enough thujone in absinthe to hurt you, either. By the end of the distillation process, there is very little thujone left in the product. Modern science has estimated that a person drinking absinthe would die from alcohol poisoning long before he or she were affected by the thujone. And there is no evidence at all that thujone can cause hallucinations, even in high doses.

In view of modern analysis of the drink and its ingredients, any absinthe-related deaths can most likely be attributed to alcoholism, alcohol poisoning or drinking the cheap stuff, which, like moonshine, can have poisonous additives in it. Do not buy absinthe from some guy in an alley -- you're looking at the same dangers you'd face drinking moonshine sold off the back of a truck. And unless you've got a distiller in your garage, those make-it-yourself kits sold on the Internet are going to help you create a really terrible tasting liquor-soaked-herb beverage, not absinthe.

I use a an "old family recipe"Big smile and you do not have to distill the ingredients.   I use herbal oils infused in a high quality Vodka, which is about 90 proof, versus commercial absinthe, which can run 110-150 proof.  {some of the "kits" you can buy online call for using Grain alc. 190 proof.]
 
The absinthe sold legally in the US is supposed to be thujone free.  Which as far as I'm concerned, makes it Faux Absinthe.
While there is no evidence of it being an hallucinogen, it does have it's effects.Wink  Similar to "Cannabis Brandy".  Something I've sampled a couple timesBig smile.
 
In short properly made, and properly handled when drinking, you don't need to drink much of it to feel an effect. 
 
 
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  Quote Centrix Vigilis Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 11-Jun-2013 at 12:33
Tried the original in 75? In Kammerad land. Tasted worse then Jagermeister but it was an ass kicker. And you right it didn't take much to get weird. Why this is still banned for consumption by US Mil personnel, iirc.

otoh, to keep ya awake during REFORGER or when ya was pulling guard on some secluded and highly classified 'SW' storage sites...the medics would pass out the 'little red pills' to keep ya awake. Pure ass Benzedrine.

As it was prescribed I can yet claim it was legitimate usage.

Edited by Centrix Vigilis - 11-Jun-2013 at 12:34
"Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence"

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  Quote Marlin47 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13-Jun-2013 at 10:25
These little Cointreau flavoured larks are merely an hor douvres ( there ain't many of the little buggers left in France now, because the Italians shoot em when they fly over the Alps en route to Africa,; the Senussis tribe shoot ' em to serve with apricot stuffed dates when they arrive in Libya, and then, upon their return to France, the French welcome them with volleys of birdshot and vats of Cointreau !
So, one is just about all one can get to eat. Mind you, the Cointreau softens the bones, so there is no wastage !      I HAVE JUST REMEMBERED WHAT THEY ARE CALLED !  They are known as ORTOLANS !!!!

As an hor douvres, they can be followed by wild boar stuffed with prunes with a crackly sea salt glaze,
which may then be followed by roast swan stuffed with must. Must is the grape flesh residue left over once the wine has been pressed out. Some people will bung a pound or two of anchovies into the stuffing, but I was once held off Harfleur for two days by severe off shore winds. All I had to eat and drink was a very large tin of anchovies, a box of Ritz crackers and a litre sized bottle of Johnny Walker "Green Label".
Since then I have never been able to look at any of 'em without feeling sick !
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  Quote Marlin47 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13-Jun-2013 at 10:27
Originally posted by TheAlaniDragonRising

Don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol, don't you drink a lot of alcohol. This is what I'm trying to convince myself, but for some reason when reading these fine threads with advocates saying the opposite I find myself thinking, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol, I want to drink a lot of alcohol. Not all of the time mind you. Plus having had an alcoholic Father there can be this inner conflict saying at times, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, I feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol, although I shouldn't feel a desperate need to drink a lot of alcohol. Saying it this way makes it sound a great deal worse, and longer than it really is. In reality my thoughts get back to the same as what red has said about not enjoying what comes later after the drinking stopping much of it.Smile   

Bottoms up, Happy Days and Chin Chin, old fruit !
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  Quote TheAlaniDragonRising Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13-Jun-2013 at 10:59
What a handsome figure of a dragon. No wonder I fall madly in love with the Alani Dragon now, the avatar, it's a gorgeous dragon picture.
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  Quote Marlin47 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 13-Jun-2013 at 17:31
Bunting, schmunting !     Sparrow ?  Forgeddaboutit !    At the very least it's got to be a lark, or else I wouldn't waste a bottle of Cointreau on the bugger !     And wouldn't you just know that that fat git Clarkson would get there before me !
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