I'll echo some comments here by saying that the word "Jew" itself is fine, kind of like "Black", its all in how you say it. If you say the word with the same degree of respect as you'd give to any other ethnic group, then its normal.
Also, "Jew" is a proper name or noun, its not an adjective, and is usually offensive if used as a descriptive, as in "that Jew newspaper", or "the Jew Senator." "Jewish" on the other hand is fine.
This reminds me of a lecture that I recently sat in on, where the Jewish speaker humorously scolded us, the Jewish audience, for calling ourselves "Jew-ish" rather than "Jews." He said that years of anti-Semitism has made "Jew" into a bad word, even to us Jews! And to escape this uncomfortable label, we use the term "Jew-ish".
But I think this very question necessitates a deeper look into the semantics of the term. Like the Swedish, I think the best way to show respect to another people is to refer to them, as they refer to themselves, in their own language.
So "Jew" is an English or Romantic version of the Hebrew term "Yehudi" which stems from the tribe of "Yehudah" (Judah.) When the ancient Kingdom of Israel, centered in Samaria, was destroyed by the Assyrians circa 722 BCE, the Hebrew remnant resided in the southern Kingdom, called Judah, whose capital was Jerusalem. When the Babylonians destroyed Jerusalem, and carried the Judahites into Diaspora -- that's when the "Yehudim" or Jews started to develop a consciousness of being primarily 'Jews'.
As for Israel (Yis_Ra'EL) which means "those who strive, contend for, and wrestle with GOD", even though the kingdom was destroyed, the national name lived on among the Jewish remnant, used as a spiritual term for their collective identity as the chosen people.
Today, modern Israelis carry on that traditional name (as Yisra'ELiym), but the Anglo-sized term "Israelite" is reserved to describe the ancient ancestors -- although in jest or good humor, its certainly okay to call a Jew an "Israelite" or even a "Hebrew" (which was my great-grandfather's "ethnic" category on his passport when he came to America) -- since it is quite a noble term, in terms of its deeper meaning.
I don't call someone by their religion anyway, like ''Hey, Catholic''. I tend to say, "Hey, Peter" and refer to him as 'a Catholic', the exact same as with a Jewish person.
But the difference with the Jewish people are, the term their tribes/folks are called is the same with their religious affiliation.
You can be a Catholic, but your nationality can change. However with the Jews, it is the same.
Jewish is a religion, not a nationality, it use to be a nationality, now most of the Jews we have now have converted to Judaism in the last few 100 years. They say only one percent of jews of today are from the same tribe from 2500 years ago
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