Top 20 things you should know about women

Top 20 things you should know about women:


20. At least one of her friends wants to sleep with you.

19. Every woman is self-conscious about her buttocks. Tell her you love her buttocks and you�ll see it more often.

18. If you want more sex, tell your girl an attractive woman hit on you that day. Sixty percent of the time, it works.

17. More than half of surveyed females between 18 and 25 would prefer to be run over by a truck than be fat.

16. All women think they�re smarter than their partners in some significant way.

15. Once in a while, let her pick the movie and don't complain about it.

14. Any good woman will tell you, honesty is not always the best policy.

13. Chicks aren�t afraid to get kinky; you just have to have the nerve to ask.

12. Girls don�t want to date doormats. So make her proud and refuse to give up bowling night with the guys.

11. Don't take a woman to a concert you really want to see�she'll just want to leave early.

10. Studies show women are more attracted to �macho� guys near ovulation. The rest of the month, they�re drawn to �good providers,� otherwise known as chumps.

9. She likes one of your friends.

8. Ugly girls like to hang out with pretty girls because it makes them feel like they're more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls for the same reason.

7. The minute she decides she�s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.

6. Sixty percent of women in the United States color their hair, according to L�Or�al (who are obviously hoping they can peer-pressure the other 40 percent).

5. You dated a stripper? Keep your mouth shut, stupid.

4. Female serial killers tend to use poison rather than guns or knives.

3. The one breakup line she�ll never be able to argue you out of: �I�m sorry, but I no longer have feelings for you.�

2. Buying a present for your girl? She�ll hate it (and you) if she finds out you took along another woman to help pick it out.

1. You'll probably never know how many guys she's slept with. The standard lie is five. Which really means about 12.



Edited by morticia

yet informative!

8. Ugly girls like to hang out with pretty girls because it makes them feel like they're more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls for the same reason.

So very true.

This is what every father shoud tell their sons when they hit 13. Too bad mine didn't, making me waste half a decade to learn.

Except the 60% hair-dying, which I think is neither true nor relevant in any case.

Originally posted by morticia 19. Every woman is self-conscious about her buttocks. Tell her you love her buttocks and you�ll see it more often.

This is ridiculously true.

^

Originally posted by morticia 18. If you want more sex, tell your girl an attractive woman hit on you that day. Sixty percent of the time, it works.

Originally posted by Sparten ^ Since when have you been seeing Morty's buttocks? �

A gentleman is prohibited from answering such questions.;)

Originally posted by Reginmund It's not about being a doormat, it's about enjoying sex more than bowling, beer and smelly primates, especially combined.

It's about taking decisions and being the Master of the House. But you're also expected to treat her equally. The tricky part is to figure out when they want the former and when to do the latter - or both at the same time. I personally believe this insanity is at least loosely related to the different female phases of the month: ovulation, when they as said wants a real macho-man; bleeding*, when they basicly behave as men anyway, and the in-between periods.



*whatever the English term is

Edited by Styrbiorn - 30-May-2007 at 15:39

Originally posted by morticia 7. The minute she decides she�s even mildly interested in you, she starts making mental pictures of what your kids would look like and imagining her first name with your last.

Edited by Aelfgifu - 31-May-2007 at 05:32

Originally posted by Constantine XI 8. Ugly girls like to hang out with pretty girls because it makes them feel like they're more attractive. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls for the same reason. So very true.

The not very appealing friend hanging around to inhance your beauty is called a "bugly"

lol