The second house is about 100 metres away. Both properties are three storey Victorian lodges. A few weeks ago building work for five large houses commenced on a site at the far end of the lane.  This mean that traffic, virtually all of it now being construction vehicles, has increased hugely. Over a year ago I lent my near neighbour in the lane my 30 foot 3 section ladder. This cost a few hundred pounds when I bought it a couple of years ago and if rented from a hire store would cost about £15.00 per week.  I have lent it to my neighbour for as long as he needs it, and at absolutely no charge whatsoever, asking only that he gives me a few days notice of his intention to return it.  Last Thursday I walked down the lane into the village to have a pub lunch with some chums . Late in the afternoon when I returned I found that my neighbours wife hold told her gardener and handyman to return the ladder to me without notice and they had put it on the ground immediately in front of my garage, and where it could be seen by the dozens of builders driving up and down that lane every day - anyone one of whom could have easily stolen it. Moreover, had I driven my car out of the garage, it, being a low slung and very valuable sportscar, would have ridden up over the ladder and smashed in the underpart of the front of the car.  As it was I had to manhandle the bloody ladder inside my front gate on my own. When angrily I later walked over to their house to complain at their actions, the wife sent her au pair down to tell me she couldn't speak to me since she was on the phone ( this was also repeated half an hour later when I returned ).  I am speechless wth anger at her stupid selfishness and remain so several days later.  I rang her husband at work and demanded that she apologise. This has not happened.  What would others do in the circumstances ?

 

Sorry cannot believe how childish your behaviour appears to be.

 

You leant a ladder to a neighbour. You don't say how long they had it. It was returned by the Wife who may not have known about your request for a few day's notice. (Why on earth would you want that ?)

 

You then appear to have acted extremely rudely both to her and her husband.

 

What you now do is apologise to them both. Say sorry you went over the top but were worried about the safety of the ladder given all the builders and others now around. Buying her a bunch of flowers would help.

 

 

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I accept that my thread is a long one. This may excuse the fact that you omitted to see that I clearly stated in it that I had lent the ladder to my neighbours over a year ago, and in which time (without asking me ) they had drilled eight large holes in it to accept a roof hook being bolted to it.   The neighbours wife was VERY WELL AWARE of the fact that I needed some little notice before I could accept back the ladder. This is because I am storing her vintage Jaguar in my garage for her (again without charge) and this car needs much preparation before it can be started up and moved in order for me to hang the ladder on the wall above her car. The ladder also needs two strong men to get it up on the hooks and there was only me available when it was left without notice, whereas had her husband or a male member of her household staff had returned to me when I was expecting it, it could have easily been hung up by two of us.

 

Do you still expect ME to apologise and hand over a unch of flowers ? Probably not !.

Should you have refrained from commenting in such an absurdly reactionary way until reading my thread properly ?   Indubitably !

 

 

How good is your understanding of the English language ? Reasonable ?   If so then try reading my thread again properly. You may then take on a different perspective !

 

Ask her husband if he will help move the ladder.

 

Of course if you prefer to live in a state of warfare fine.

 

For 'reactionary' read 'harmonious'

 

Of course if money is your main problem a bill to them would undoubtedly cause even more mayhem and ill-feeling

 

 Just for the sake of harmony you'll agree that I was right and that you were talking a load of old bollo ?  That's very noble of you, mynheer !   As for moving the bloody ladder, I did that last week and damn near ruptured myself in doing so. Had I not have done I'd have to buy it back from a pikey at this Sunday's local boot fair.  I am a wealthy man, so money is never my problem. What IS my problem is bastard bloody neighbours who are real piss takers and don't give a flying f**t for others !

 I have another arrangement with my neighbor for 30 years.
We each have access to each others garages and combined, we have every tool in the book. So if I need anything, I'll go get it, disregarding which garage - and put it back when I'm done - and he will do visa versa.

There is only one exception to this.

20 years ago, I ran a little inquiry with all the neighbors in the street and together we bought a 30 feet ladder for all to use. It hangs on the outside of my neighbors garage, free for everyone to use - also newcomers. It doesn't belong to anyone in particular - it belong to the properties.

 

Nuvo...

The neighbor returned the ladder. No disasters anywhere...

The only thing failing was, that the neighbors didn't comply with your directions or expectations, which of course was forgotten long ago. They just happened to have a couple of guys handy that day, who could carry the ladder to your house, which of course they thought was very convenient.

I'm sure they did it out of the best of intentions.

 

You're the only one seeing it as a problem.

 

You have missed the point my friend!

Nuvolari, you have posed an interesting dilemma. Surely, as you aptly decree, a little notice would not be beyond them! My advice is such, do not let their social transgressions (whether premeditated or merely inadvertent) dictate the flow of your mood, or worse, your entire disposition, and instead allow this event to slide beyond the trivialities of righteousness and causality, and instead become the means by which you can assert (internally, of course) an assumption of social and interpersonal superiority over the transgressors. You have garnered what was already yours, and despite the means by which it was returned, you have achieved a now-heightened positive self-appraisal, one which will manifest itself in increased confidence and thus perpetuate you as a successful social-being to others. Therein lies the win-win solution! I hope this helps you come to terms with this socially charged and possibly precarious situation.

 

Am I right in thinking your are telling Nuvolari not to be so childish ?

 

Personally I would be apalled if my children behaved like that.

 

 

You wouldn't be able to afford to live here anyway !

 

Irrespective of whomsoever may have taken advantage of my ladder being left in plain view, as long as it lay where my neighbour left it, it was in an exposed position and might have been stolen.   Moreover, criminals or not, the average construction worker is no saint, so an opportunity to half hitch a very saleable ladder would have been irresistable to any brickie, roofer or sundry pikey that drove by ( it might be sensible at this juncture to point out that my local church has had the lead stolen from its roof four times in three years and a 30 foot ladder would greatly facilitate the next roof stripping adventure ! Not only that, but my local police force and Neighbourhood Watch recently leaflettted everyone locally instructing that ladders, if left outside, should be changed to a nearby cast iron down pipe )).  Furthermore, the request on my part for notice of the ladders return arises every time they aplogise for keeping the sodding thing so long anyway, so memory lapse or ignorance won't fly on that one !

 

I have no plan to change,amigo.  And even less to join that "dying" race just yet !

As for their not being made like they used to - well, that is half of the bloody problem, since being of that particular stamp, how can one expect a 30something German hausfrau to even begin to understand an Old School ex officer English gentleman, since even the memsahib occasionally fails to understand who she married !!

 

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My dear chum.   In order not to occupy too much space on this forum, I first recounted this sad tale in a condensed format.  I didn't mention the fact that had I have entered my house from the rear, I wouldn't have even know the ladder was there. Not only would this have left it exposed and vulnerable to theft until somebody eventually spotted it at the front of the house , but had I have gone to my garage via the rear door, started up my £130,000 Aston Martin and driven it out, I would have ridden over the bloody ladder and smashed the arse off my car. The other details, like when I borrow their tools I always thank them profusely, very often offering a nice bottle of burgundy or similar, all pale into insignificance, but nevertheless remain valid.  I am glad, though, that you have accepted the fact that my neighbours wife was selfish and inconsiderate etc., since these are things that stick in the craw of the English middle classes, who, even in this decayed and despoiled age, still endeavour to subscribe to virtues unknown to the woman in question.

 

I shall do what I can, compadre.  The mere fact that I am as definitive an example of an English WASP as can possibly be found, and that this past week my house and garden has been filled with builders/painters/plumbers and brickies, all of whom have names like Patrick, Seamus,Finn,Brendan and Coll etc. should provide ample scope for further reportage, especially when I eventually find out who it was who reversed his digger into my 150 year old ash tree knocking it to f**k  !!!, and then tried to cover up the crime by concreting the f******r back into the ground.  I look forward later this week to Thursday evening, when upon completion of the contract and over a celebratory Guinness and fish supper at my house, I interrogate Paddy and his little gang as to whom was responsible.   My wife, who was especially found of that tree, will be heating up the instruments of torture even as I pour the Guinness and unwrap the cod and chips !!

 

Seems more like a story to wind people up.

 

For Heavens sake, are you now adding incredulity to your stupidity ?   Assuming that you don't live permanently in an oxygen tent, padded cell, iron lung or space capsule ( or a combination of all four ! ), is your life so devoid of interest or incident that NOTHING at all of any significance, even the lending of a ladder to an idiot neighbour, happens to you ?

Not that I give a tinkers cuss what it is that you find so implausible, but others may wish to know, so why not substantiate your claim..................either that or just shut the f**k up  !

 

In any event the lending of a ladder to a neighbour must rank as one of the least important events in the world at large.

 

Anyone thinking otherwise must be leading a very sad life

 

 

Never mind about all of your vague allusions and hackneyed cliches----------  put up or shut up !

 

Your own hackneyed cliches in describing the workers who seem to be around your property, half of them with malicious intent.

 

All of these with the general tenor of your posts would indicate implausibility

 

OK, OK, let's introduce an element of courtesy into the proceedings, since I (as do you, I am sure ) have better things to do than exchange inanities.  May we first of all, though, accept that what might have appeared to you to be an"incredibly minor incident" (and if it does, then I admire your sang froid ! ), does not appear that way to me. It didn't when it happened and it still doesn't several days later.  That being the case, I find it difficult to concede that any part of what I described in this forum has any degree of implausibility, which, as it happens, is a polite way of calling someone a bloody liar, and you would do well to consider that since it is not a nice thing to call someone.  If you wish to persist in your allegations, why don't you be more specific ?  I doubt that I could respond to them with any degree of plausibility that would satisy you, even if you wanted me to try, but it would help readers of this forum (including myself) understand exactly what you find to be so implausible.  By the bye, rightly or wrongly I have asumed from your name "Peteratwar" that you might be an old war horse like myself, who despite not yet being of pensionable age, saw service in several global conflicts.  In this respect, first of all I wouldn't want to upset any of my ex military peers (which may,perhaps, include yourself ? ), and secondly, should I even remotely allude to ANY part of my activities in uniform, then you, and doubtless many other readers of this forum, certainly might find that implausible..............whereas arguments with neighbours over a bloody ladder are so picayune as to be total nothingnesses !

 

Never ever heard of one using those expressions. Never ever hear of one mentioning doing things free of charge. Never ever heard  of one associating cars and prices. Never heard of one making monetary insults.

 

One of my uncles was a High Commissioner in one of the Indian States. Never referred to his wife like that.

 

Seems more to me that these expressions are not real.

 

BTW yes I have served in the Armed Forces and it seems I have several years start on you.