I notice non Americans especially those from mainland Asia often speak of America as being a nation where children are rebels against their parents and disrespectful towards thems. They seem to make America out as always a nation that never had a sense of filial piety.
While this is true for modern America, there was a time where in American culture respect towards parents and filial piety was necessary in order to fit in American society. I have an uncle who explained how filial piety in America was like during his time:
''When I was a teen back in the 30s, I remember how other other kids including teenagers such as myself back in that period were required to respect our parents show a sense of filial piety. In those days a parent who had children without any sense of filial piety was seen as a social failure and weakling. I remember how I would see other teens get slapped in the face for yelling at their parents and being disrespect ful in public. As a whole children even teenagers showed deep respect towards their parents. If not they would either be kicked out of the family and disowned or beaten badly. I still remember how every time I showed disrespect to my mother my father would punch me till I got bruises and bled. After a few beatings I never showed disrespect again. My parents were so serious about making me have filial piety up to the point they felt it reflected to the town we lived in as our much of a proper citizen they were. A parent who had children who yelled or answered back was seen as weak and incompetent and a failure in society back in those days. Now a days parents don't seem to make it necessary that children be respectful.''
My grandma who grew up in the 1920s told me:
"Back in those days you always showed respect at the dinner table. No talking was allowed while eating meals and only parents were allowed to speak freely. I remember how every time I got involved in conversation between my parents my mother would tell me "You keep quiet. I didn't give you permission to speak ." It was even wrong and rude to try to correct an adult who wasn't eating as a mannered person would. I will never forget the time how when I told my mother she was not acting proper at dinner because she had one of her shoulders on the table she suddenly came to me and slapped and later stated that I had no right to correct her and that it was rude and disrespectful. She told me only adults could correct other adults on the table.''
My grandpa on my dad's side told me
"In those days (30s) you couldn't marry anyone as freely as you chose or choose any job you want. I remember how I was going to marry a sweethart I had years ago when suddenly my mother refused to allow me to marry her because she felt she was too modern and loose(as in liberal in today's vocab). When I said I'm going to marry her regardless what she thinks, my mother told me that if I married her I will be disowned and kicked out of the family. In the end I had to break from that relationship. "
He also told me:
"I remember how when I was in college I wanted to be a scientist. My mother refused and told me to become an accountant. When I told her that I will not become an engineer she threatened to cut funds for college and even to disown me because she had a strong dislike for scientists because science interfered with her conservative religious beliefs. I ended up becoming an accountant."
So how come non Americans particularly Asians make it out that America was always a nation without filial piety? By the way how my older relatives describe how society was like during their days, Americans were just as strict in requiring respect from children and in requiring filial piety as much as oriental cultures! SO HOW COME ORIENTALS OFTEN MAKE IT SEEM AMERICA ALWAYS HAD A REBELIOUS YOUTH CULTURE?!?
Edited by Barkey Foreman - 19-Mar-2014 at 11:48