What Shaped You?

0-8: family, mostly. The generally irritating people at school.
8-13: still some family, but now a LOT of friends influence, specifically the friend who i could only and in all honesty call my best--sort of like a brother, except without the arguing.
13+: Friends mostly, the world around me being a large influence too.

Politically: I was influenced in the beginning by family, but eventually came to my individual view on politics mostly through personal reflection, coupled with friends of opposing political alignments and general distaste for the hypocrisy of many political figures and similarities between opposing political figures--they often seemed like different sides of the same coin. I wouldn't say I'm a moderate per se; just someone who has their own views and doesn't believe it's worth it to support one party over another.

Religously: I was influenced mostly by myself, as well as certain philosophers here. I ended up at my personal belief more through personal moments of amazement at the universe and through personal reflection and consideration than through anything else, although some philosophy helped me put words to it. I'm not sure I'd believe in what I do so strongly if it was influenced by anyone else; to me, faith has to be a personal, internal thing or else it's not precisely faith.

Passions: My passions (martial arts, philosophy, history, politics) were influenced again, largely by myself, although reading widely helped. I can't really point to why I've ended up with those passions except to say that martial arts is flat-out fun to me and philosophy, history, and politics are essential for understanding, in general, how the world works.

If I could go back and change things...

No. How would I know what I could take out safely and what spurred me on to do better? What kind of pathetic pride would it take to actually believe that I knew without a doubt what would make a life better? I prefer to live with my mistakes, deal with my issues, go on to greater heights, be better every day I can in every way I can then I was yesterday, and use every single thing I did wrong to my own advantage. If I changed things I might have an easier life, but I wouldn't be anywhere near as real of a person as I am now. You make a sword by burning metal, bending it, cooling it in water like ice, and doing it all over again. That's how you make a person, too (even if my own experiences haven't been quite that bad.) I wouldn't change anything. I'd rather make myself better by dealing with things the way they are than make my life better by running from them.




Edited by TheARRGH - 20-Mar-2008 at 17:56

This topic is very Freudian. Not in the obtuse, sexual sense, but from the therapeutic recollections standpoint. I'm not sure that I entirely agree that it is only the external events and circumstances that shape us, though. More so, it is our personal, internal interpretations of these events which shape us, in my opinion.

That said, I can point to a few certain evens that shaped who I am:

My mother loves to tell me the story of my birth. I was her first child and she didn't know what to expect. When I came out, I was dead silent. I was so quiet that I imagine the nurses in attendance must have wondered if I was a still-birth. I didn't cry, and just looked around, staring at everything and taking it in. My mother says this event explains a lot about me- that I adapt to new environments without much complaint, and that I'm always curious about the world around me.

A few hours later when she asked to have me returned from the maternity ward, she encountered some resistance from the nurses; apparently, I was such a pleasant child that they didn't want to give me up or put me down. My mother says this event explains a few more things about me- that I've always had a way with women haha, and that people need to get to know me a bit better before they decide whether or not they like me. Because apparently for the next 3 years I refused to ever go to bed, and those first experiences were very deceiving, because, according to dear old Mum, I was anything but a pleasant child, and have grown up to be anything but a pleasant young man. If those nurses could only see me now.

According to other reliable sources, my emotional development ceased at the age of four; my preschool teacher informed my parents that I had a college vocabulary, and suggested I might be a genius. It was at this point that I internally concluded that I was in fact a genius, even though now other evidence has ever suggested this conclusion- I also concluded that, being a genius fer Chrissakes, I knew better than everybody else, and that I ought never to listen to anyone else's opinions or advice, no matter how well-informed or well-intentioned. Anyone who knows me at all knows that I still cling tenaciously to this conclusion, no matter the evidence to the contrary.

Being part of the privileged class of American society (white, upper-middle class, healthy, athletic, intelligent, and, dare I say? astonishingly attractive), life has come rather easily for me, and left me to draw the conclusion that life is a breeze, and something of a smorgasbord to be sampled, tasted, experienced, and enjoyed, much like a fine wine (of which you can never learn anything about by a single bottle; you must enjoy a case in a single sitting to really know the nature of the vintage) or some other expensive luxury. Thus, I never take anything seriously, laugh at "adversity," and generally live by the "I'm invincible" mantra. Perhaps because of these traits I come off as a bit of a prick, but I'm okay with that that, since I don't take what other people think about me seriously anyway.

However, the disappointments I have experienced have left me cynical, bitter, and generally aggressive and spiteful. None of these traits help with the "prick" perception.

Politically, I'm quite liberal; mainly due to my own self-centeredness and lack of desire to truly be offended by what it is that other people choose to do with their lives. I'll keep my nose out of other peoples' collective business so long as they don't interfere with my affairs. C'est la vie.

Religion? I'm far too prideful to bend the knee to anything or anyone, divine or not.

My passions are literature and adventure, and to that end I could say that the works of people like Ernest Hemingway and other well-traveled/ adventuresome writers, such as Anthony Loyd, have definitely shaped my conception of the world around and the way life is to be lived; hard. "Live hard, love hard, fight hard."

Words I live by: "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong in the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."
I interpret this to mean that, since you're f*cked anyway, you might as well be one of those people that the world feels a special hurry to try to kill.

I apologize for the lengthy rant, and the way in which I deigned to conform to the parameters, but those are the events, words, people and experiences which shaped me.
Cheers.

What shaped me?

Bowflex.

http://www.bowflex.com

Edited by Panther - 27-Feb-2008 at 11:36

Perhaps Flipper. I agree with you that being aware of your flaws is the first major step. Doing the second major step -correct these flaws- is equally, if not more, difficult.

The hardest thing in this task however is to be aware of your bad sides and weaknesses. Getting rid of them is the easy part.

I'm not sure. It's easy to understand bad things of your character, but it's impossible to correct them, just by wanting so.
I feel I know many bad sides of me. Unless of course I'm wrong...

0-8: Is practically the same thing xristar posted up
8-13: The clearest memory I have about going to school was when I was in 1st grade. I think my teacher's name was Ms. Freys but I always remembered her as Ms. French-fries. My family had a huge influence on my life. Not just my immediate but also mine from Peru because this was the time I took many vacation trips down to south america.
13-today: After middle school and the beginning of high school I pretty much became a loner. It was a tough time for me I guess cause I had this fear of guessing what other people were thinking of me. I got outta that phase and started having friends again by the end of my senior year of high school. Now I am in college and my friends here have really influenced me. I have no problem who I am today, although I feel like sometimes i should be perfect like brad pitt but oh well

Edited by Ponce de Leon - 25-Feb-2008 at 16:21

I'll second everyone's earlier childhood as a significant factor that shapes you, even the potato chips. The journey isn't over though. We are still shaping and being shaped. We carry the torch and live on. As the wise man from the North once said, "Listen to all people, read about everything, learn and study all you can..."

Great topic North!

0-8; As you say, parents were probably my biggest influence. It is quite hard to determine how they influenced me, and how much was generically built in. I suppose there are two things worth mentioning that I remember, the first, is upon starting school having to conciously alter my language to be understood.
Although I speak English at home, many of the words I use, especially for family relations, are from Urdu. Having to translate and dereference phrases so that others could understand gave me a sense of being different, and from keeping a strict separation between my private and public life.
The second would be when I got my first pack of plastic army men (tin solders for 80's babies ) when I was about 5. It was the same time as the Bosnian war, and although I never actually watched the news I still had an idea of what was going on; and had a clear opinion on whose side I was on. I broke the army men into 3 groups, Bosnians, Serbs, and Americans, and had my Bosnian troops defeat both the serbs and the Americans. (It was much later I discovered that the Americans were not on the same side as the Serbs)

8-13; By far the most important influence of time period, and indeed my life, was spending alot of time in Pakistan during this period. It brought the world into perspective and made pretty well everything my comrades of the same age worried about trivial. I fully believe that you don't know anything about the world until you have lived in a place where there is real poverty, and real wealth side by side.
I also built up quite a bit of electrical knowledge by juggling the phases in our house trying to minimise the impact of the KESC (Karachi Electricity Stuff-up Corporation)

Also, I decided that any decent team should be able to score 100 in the first 15 overs. The 95-96 tri series and following World Cup, where Kaluwitharana & Jaysuria would do it with ease.

13+: I hate to say it, but the fall out from September 11 was a huge influence. The separation between my public and private life (us & them) grew massively. While previously had always reconciled outside views, I was now prepared to openly declare that I disagreed with the 'norm'. I ceased to be a member of 'the people' and became someone who joined it and left it at will. It was a mask I wore rather than who I was - I can mix with you, but I am not you.
I have never considered this to be a rebellious attitude in myself, because there have been no other symptoms of that. More it is a equal & opposite reaction to sentiments expressed in the media.

Also I suppose before I was 15 I considered that everyone was equally intellegent and just decided to use it in different ways. It wasn't until year 11 I realised that some people actually are just stupid.

In this period I picked up the 'tough-it-out' mentality from the schoolyard. If you get teased take it, and tease them back later. Pull a muscle - walk it off. Always underexaggerate, never take a dive.
See a deadly snake, take its head off with a shovel. See a mongoose give it a good stare until it runs. In the way of a wombat? Move. (No man has any chance against a Wombat )

Looking in the back mirror, would you have been a different person if you could have chosen yourself (knowing what you know today).

Nope. I like me

Edited by Omar al Hashim - 25-Feb-2008 at 06:59