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Greatest quotes of history

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Akolouthos View Drop Down
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  Quote Akolouthos Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: Greatest quotes of history
    Posted: 22-Jun-2006 at 08:09
Originally posted by Ponce de Leon

"Isint the term agnostic really an atheist without balls?"

               -Stephen Colbert
 
LOLClapLOL
 
Hilarious, if a bit vulgar.
 
-Akolouthos
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  Quote Akolouthos Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22-Jun-2006 at 08:14
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made. In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. (John 1: 1-5)
 
I love the way each seemingly repetitious statement, in addition to being poetic, actually clarifies an arcane detail of the divine inner-communion of the Godhead. I think, for this passage at least, I actually prefer the original King James Version over the Revised KJV.
 
-Akolouthos
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  Quote Emperor Barbarossa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22-Jun-2006 at 14:29
Originally posted by Ponce de Leon

"Isint the term agnostic really an atheist without balls?"

               -Stephen Colbert

Not funny, just insulting. And definitely not an intelligent statement anyways.

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  Quote Red4tribe Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22-Jun-2006 at 17:03
My favorite quote is, "Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, 'This was their finest hour.'
 
Winston Churchill - June 18, 1940
Had this day been wanting, the world had never seen the last stage of perfection to which human nature is capable of attaining.

George Washington - March 15, 1783

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  Quote Akolouthos Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22-Jun-2006 at 17:34
Originally posted by Emperor Barbarossa

Originally posted by Ponce de Leon

"Isint the term agnostic really an atheist without balls?"

               -Stephen Colbert

Not funny, just insulting. And definitely not an intelligent statement anyways.
 
As insulting as laughing at the comparison of an individual to a heroin addict, or comparing another human being to "Joe McCarthy's corpse's and Bill O'Reilly's demon love child in drag?" And perhaps just as intelligent? It seems to me to be "just a joke." Wink
 
-Akolouthos


Edited by Akolouthos - 22-Jun-2006 at 17:42
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  Quote Emperor Barbarossa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22-Jun-2006 at 18:16
Originally posted by Akolouthos

Originally posted by Emperor Barbarossa

Originally posted by Ponce de Leon

"Isint the term agnostic really an atheist without balls?"

               -Stephen Colbert

Not funny, just insulting. And definitely not an intelligent statement anyways.
 
As insulting as laughing at the comparison of an individual to a heroin addict, or comparing another human being to "Joe McCarthy's corpse's and Bill O'Reilly's demon love child in drag?" And perhaps just as intelligent? It seems to me to be "just a joke." Wink
 
-Akolouthos

Those jokes were coherent, as they were exaggerations. Colbert's joke is not even coherent, and thus, is not really a joke. Just forget the fact that this thread is for great historical quotes, not stupid jokes that are not funny.

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  Quote Akolouthos Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22-Jun-2006 at 18:25
Those earlier jokes may be funny to one who holds a particular point of view, as is Colbert's. Humour is largely relative. And keep in mind that those jokes occurred in the context of a serious discussion, while Colbert's quote is intended solely as humour.
 
Once again, just because you do not agree with something does not mean that it is not funny, a valid joke/comment, etc. I often disagree with John Stewart and Steven Colbert, for instance, but they tend to be rather funny.
 
-Akolouthos
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  Quote Emperor Barbarossa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22-Jun-2006 at 18:50
Originally posted by Akolouthos

Those earlier jokes may be funny to one who holds a particular point of view, as is Colbert's. Humour is largely relative. And keep in mind that those jokes occurred in the context of a serious discussion, while Colbert's quote is intended solely as humour.
 
Once again, just because you do not agree with something does not mean that it is not funny, a valid joke/comment, etc. I often disagree with John Stewart and Steven Colbert, for instance, but they tend to be rather funny.
 
-Akolouthos

A joke requires exaggeration. Colbert's joke was not an exaggeration, but just incoherent nonsense. His joke would be similar to saying "Christians are just Jews with balls."

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  Quote Ponce de Leon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22-Jun-2006 at 19:13
Originally posted by Emperor Barbarossa


Originally posted by Akolouthos

Those earlier jokes may be funny to one who holds a particular point of view, as is Colbert's. Humour is largely relative. And keep in mind that those jokes occurred in the context ofa serious discussion, while Colbert's quote is intended solely as humour.

Once again, just because you do not agree with something does not mean that it is not funny, a valid joke/comment, etc. I often disagree with John Stewart and Steven Colbert, for instance, but they tend to be rather funny.


-Akolouthos
A joke requires exaggeration. Colbert's joke was not an exaggeration, but just incoherent nonsense. His joke would be similar to saying "Christians are just Jews with balls."

That gave me a little tickle
     
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  Quote Akolouthos Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22-Jun-2006 at 19:18
Originally posted by Emperor Barbarossa

Originally posted by Akolouthos

Those earlier jokes may be funny to one who holds a particular point of view, as is Colbert's. Humour is largely relative. And keep in mind that those jokes occurred in the context of a serious discussion, while Colbert's quote is intended solely as humour.
 
Once again, just because you do not agree with something does not mean that it is not funny, a valid joke/comment, etc. I often disagree with John Stewart and Steven Colbert, for instance, but they tend to be rather funny.
 
-Akolouthos

A joke requires exaggeration. Colbert's joke was not an exaggeration, but just incoherent nonsense. His joke would be similar to saying "Christians are just Jews with balls."
 
First, exagerration is only one type of humor. Second, Colbert's joke does speak to the way in which the term agnostic is currently (although not historically) defined--i.e. the suspension of belief rather than a belief in non-existence (atheism). Third, "Christians are just Jews with balls," does indeed lack meaning (all you have done is replace a few words with no concurrent change in meaning), although you could construct a comparative Christian joke. Your concurrence with the subject matter is not requisite for the establishment of the coherence of Colbert's joke.
 
-Akolouthos 
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  Quote Emperor Barbarossa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22-Jun-2006 at 20:30
Originally posted by Akolouthos

Originally posted by Emperor Barbarossa

Originally posted by Akolouthos

Those earlier jokes may be funny to one who holds a particular point of view, as is Colbert's. Humour is largely relative. And keep in mind that those jokes occurred in the context of a serious discussion, while Colbert's quote is intended solely as humour.
 
Once again, just because you do not agree with something does not mean that it is not funny, a valid joke/comment, etc. I often disagree with John Stewart and Steven Colbert, for instance, but they tend to be rather funny.
 
-Akolouthos

A joke requires exaggeration. Colbert's joke was not an exaggeration, but just incoherent nonsense. His joke would be similar to saying "Christians are just Jews with balls."
 
First, exagerration is only one type of humor. Second, Colbert's joke does speak to the way in which the term agnostic is currently (although not historically) defined--i.e. the suspension of belief rather than a belief in non-existence (atheism). Third, "Christians are just Jews with balls," does indeed lack meaning (all you have done is replace a few words with no concurrent change in meaning), although you could construct a comparative Christian joke. Your concurrence with the subject matter is not requisite for the establishment of the coherence of Colbert's joke.
 
-Akolouthos 

Actually, I am very informed with the subject of agnosticism(I am one). Second of all, the term agnostic can be used incorrectly, but a joke usually does have exaggeration.  Of course I can see what Colbert's joke is saying (agnostics are similar to athiests), but it is not really accurate. My main anger is that is was placed as a great historical quote, not great comedic quote.

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  Quote Akolouthos Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22-Jun-2006 at 21:23

I understand that. I was merely drawing a valid comparison with my being a bit upset with the degeneration of what I viewed as a serious discussion being turned into a cheap-shot fest earlier. Once again, objectivity, objectivity, objectivity.

And as for the definition of the word, we must remember the organic nature of language. For instance, when I was an agnostic, I was so more according to the modern sense of the word.
 
-Akolouthos
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  Quote Emperor Barbarossa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 22-Jun-2006 at 21:34
The Ann Coulter jokes were a bit different though(non-historical discussion, politics are full of jokes). Anyways, I am an agnostic in the suspension of belief(no proof from either side, i.e. a God is possible, but has not been proven, not impossible, as athiesm believes) sense of the word.

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  Quote Ponce de Leon Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 30-Jun-2006 at 22:47
Barbie u r a 16 yr old agnostic who can speak for the entire agnostic club?
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  Quote rider Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01-Jul-2006 at 02:44
Actually, quote does not mean a joke and this is the quote (great quotes) topic, not the joke topic.
 
But as I especially like Star Wars (although the books have much much more funny and intelligent) then: 
 
BEN: Oh, he's not dead, not... not yet.
BEN: An elegant weapon for a more civilized time. For over a thousand generations the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times, before the Empire.
BEN: Mos Eisley Spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.
BEN: I felt a great disturbance in the Force... as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.
BEN: You see, you can do it.
HAN: I call it luck.
BEN: In my experience, there's no such thing as luck.
HAN: Look, going good against remotes is one thing. Going good against the living? That's something else.
BEN: That's no moon! It's a space station.
HAN: It's too big to be a space station.
LUKE: I have a very bad feeling about this.
HAN: Yeah, I think your right. Full reverse! Chewie, lock in the auxiliary power.
VADER: I've been waiting for you, Obi-Wan. We meet again, at last. The circle is now complete.
Ben Kenobi moves with elegant ease into a classical offensive position. The fearsome Dark Knight takes a defensive stance.
VADER: When I left you, I was but the learner; now I am the master.
BEN: Only a master of evil, Darth.
BEN'S VOICE: Remember, the Force will be with you ... always.
VADER: There'll be no one to stop us this time.
 
VADER: Don't be too proud of this technological terror you've constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.
MOTTI: Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Lord Vader. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the Rebel's hidden fort...
Suddenly Motti chokes and starts to turn blue under Vader's spell.
VADER: I find your lack of faith disturbing.
TARKIN: Enough of this! Vader, release him!
VADER: As you wish.
 
VADER: I sense something... a presence I haven't felt since...
 
VADER: He is here...
TARKIN: Obi-Wan Kenobi! What makes you think so?
VADER: A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master.
TARKIN: Surely he must be dead by now.
VADER: Don't underestimate the power of the Force.
TARKIN: The Jedi are extinct, their fire has gone out of the universe. You, my friend, are all that's left of their religion.
 
VADER: This will be a day long remembered. It has seen the end of Kenobi and it will soon see the end of the Rebellion.
 
VADER: Stay in attack formation!
 
VADER: The Force is strong with this one!
 
DARTH SIDIOUS : Viceroy, find her! I want that treaty signed.
NUTE : My Lord, it's impossible to locate the ship. It's out of our range.
DARTH SIDIOUS : ...not for a Sith...
 
DARTH SIDIOUS : ...Viceroy, this is my apprentice. Lord Maul. He will find your lost ship.
NUTE : Yes, My Lord.
The hologram fades off.
NUTE : This is getting out of hand...now there are two of them.
 
DARTH MAUL : At last we will reveal ourselves to the Jedi. At last we will have revenge.
 
DARTH SIDIOUS : You have been well trained, my young apprentice, they will be no match for you. It is too late for them to stop us now. Everything is going as planned. The Republic will soon be in my command.
 
DARTH SIDIOUS : This is an unexpected move for her. It's too aggresive.. Lord Maul, be mindful.
DARTH MAUL : I feel there is more to this, My Master. The two Jedi may be using the Queen for their own purposes.
DARTH SIDIOUS : The Jedi cannot become involved. They can only protect the Queen. Even Qui-Gon Jinn will not break that conenant.... This will work to our advantage...
NUTE : I have your approval to proceed then, My Lord.
DARTH SIDIOUS : Proceed. Wipe them put...all of them.
 
DARTH MAUL : I told you there was more to this...the Jedi are involved.
 
QUI-GON : ...my only conclusion can be that it was a Sith Lord.
MACE WINDU : A Sith Lord?!?
KI-ADI : Impossible! The Sith have been extinct for a millenium.
YODA : The very Republic is threatened, if involved the Sith are.
MACE WINDU : I do not believe they could have returned without us knowing.
YODA : Hard to see, the dark side is. Discover who this assassin is, we must.
KI-ADI : I sense he will reveal himself again.
MACE WINDU : This attack was with purpose, that is clear, and I agree the Queen is the target.
YODA : With this Naboo queen you must stay, Qui-Gon. Protect her.
MACE WINDU : We will use all our resources here to unravel this mystery and discover the identity of your attacker...  May the Force be with you.
YODA : May the Force be with you.
 
MACE WINDU : There is no doubt. The mysterious warrior was a Sith.
YODA : Always two there are....no more...no less. A master and an apprentice.
MACE WINDU : But which one was destroyed, the master or the apprentice?
 
OBI-WAN: One more thing. Jango mentioned he was recruited by someone named Darth Tyranus. Any idea who that might be?
YODA: With the forename Darth, a Sith he must be.
MACE WINDU: Our missing apprentice. They are playing their hand at last.
 
COUNT DOOKU: The Force is with us, my Master.
DARTH SIDIOUS: Welcome home, Lord Tyranus. You have done well.
COUNT DOOKU: I bring you good news, my Lord. The war has begun.
DARTH SIDIOUS: Excellent. (smiling) Everything is going as planned.
 
COUNT DOOKU: Master Yoda. At last we shall know who is the most powerful.
YODA: Count Dooku. No interest in contests, do I have.
 
YODA: The end for you, Count, this is.
COUNT DOOKU: ...Not yet...
 
DOOKU: You may cause a lot of bloodshed, my young Jedi, but you will not escape.
 
COUNT DOOKU: Your swords, please, Master Jedi. We don't want to make a mess of things in front of the Chancellor.
 
COUNT DOOKU: I've been looking forward to this.
ANAKIN: My powers have doubled since the last time we met, Count.
COUNT DOOKU: Good. Twice the pride, double the fall.
 
COUNT DOOKU: (continuing) Your moves are clumsy, Kenobi . . . too predictable. You'll have to do better.
 
PALPATINE: Good, Anakin, good. I knew you could do it. Kill him. Kill him now!
ANAKIN: I shouldn't . . .
PALPATINE: Do it!!
 
PALPATINE: (continuing) Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis "the wise"?
ANAKIN: No.
PALPATINE: I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midi-chlorians to create life ... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying.
ANAKIN: He could actually save people from death?
PALPATINE: The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.
ANAKIN: What happened to him?
PALPATINE: He became so powerful . . . the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. (smiles) Plagueis never saw it coming. It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself.
ANAKIN: Is it possible to learn this power?
PALPATINE: Not from a Jedi.
 
PALPATINE: Good. Good. The Force is strong with you. A powerful Sith you will become. Henceforth, you shall be known as Darth . . . Vader.
 
DARTH SlDIOUS: Commander Cody, the time has come. Execute Order Sixty-Six.
 
DARTH SlDIOUS: Commander 1138 . . .
CLONE COMMANDER BACARA: Yes, sir.
DARTH SlDIOUS: The time has come. Execute Order Sixty-Six.
CLONE COMMANDER BACARA: It will be done, My Lord.
 
DARTH SlDIOUS: Now, Lord Vader, now go and bring peace to the Empire.
 
YODA: I hear a new apprentice, you have. Emperor, or should I call you Darth Sidious.

DARTH SlDIOUS: Master Yoda, you survived.
YODA: Surprised?
DARTH SlDIOUS: Your arrogance blinds you, Master Yoda. Now you will experience the full power of the dark side.
 
PALPATINE: Power! Unlimited power!
 
PALPATINE: Once more, the Sith will rule the galaxy, and we shall have peace.
 
PALPATINE: In order to ensure our security and continuing stability, the Republic will be reorganized into the first Galactic Empire, for a safe and secure society which I assure you will last for ten thousand years.
 
YODA: Destroy the Sith, we must.

OBI-WAN: Send me to kill the Emperor. I will not kill Anakin.

YODA: To fight this Lord Sidious, strong enough, you are not.
 
ANAKIN: Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan. I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side as you do. I have brought peace, justice, freedom, and security to my new Empire.
OBI-WAN: Your new Empire?
ANAKIN: Don't make me kill you.
OBI-WAN: Anakin, my allegiance is to the Republic ... to democracy.
ANAKIN: If you're not with me, you're my enemy.
OBI-WAN: Only a Sith deals in absolutes. I will do what I must.
ANAKIN: You will try.
 
ANAKIN: Don't make me destroy you, Master. You're no match for the dark side.
OBI-WAN: I've heard that before, Anakin . . . but I never thought I'd hear it from you.
 
YODA: Destroy you I will, just as Master Kenobi, your apprentice will destroy.
 
ANAKIN: I should have known the Jedi were plotting to take over . . .
OBI-WAN: From the Sith!!! Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil.
ANAKIN: From the Jedi point of view! From my point of view, the Jedi are evil.
OBI-WAN: Well, then you are lost!
ANAKIN: This is the end for you, My Master. I wish it were otherwise.
 



Edited by rider - 01-Jul-2006 at 02:48
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  Quote Emperor Barbarossa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 01-Jul-2006 at 09:24
Originally posted by Ponce de Leon

Barbie u r a 16 yr old agnostic who can speak for the entire agnostic club?

No, I was not speaking for the entire club, but just saying what type of one I was.

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  Quote Darius of Parsa Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17-Oct-2007 at 02:45
"I came, I saw, I conquered' - Julius Ceaser
What is the officer problem?
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  Quote Illirac Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17-Oct-2007 at 16:37
 War does not determine who is right - only who is left.  ~Bertrand Russell
For too long I've been parched of thirst and unable to quench it.
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  Quote Constantine XI Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17-Oct-2007 at 16:47
Elizabeth Braddock: Mr. Churchill, this is a disgrace. You are quite drunk.
Churchill: This may be well and true, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I love that one, funny bugger.
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  Quote Guests Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18-Oct-2007 at 06:11
"Gerald Ford's economics are the worst thing that's happened to this country since pantyhose ruined finger-f***ing."
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