Brits Knighting those who beat them

Knighthoods obsolete in modern Australia

By Adam Shand

It seems like a dream-like memory when, in 1999, Australia voted in a referendum against sending our vice regal trappings back to ole Blighty. There was majority support for Australia to become a sovereign republic, but division in the yes vote meant the status quo was retained.

Now remarkably there seems enthusiastic support in Australia for British Prime Minister Gordon Brown�s suggestion that the Commonwealth Honours system be revived to honour the exploits of cricketers.

Brown�s reasoning seems as flawed as some Australians� desire to plunge back into the past seems ridiculous.

"I believe it was a good tradition to celebrate the achievements of great Commonwealth cricketers - it shows we are a nation of good sports. Personally, I would like to see some of the great players of our era receive honorary awards so that the British nation can salute their achievements in one of our national sports, Brown told The Telegraph newspaper.

So, essentially, Brown wants to congratulate foreign players with knighthoods for kicking the backsides of the England cricket team. How dispiriting for England�s struggling XI  to have to call ruffians like Shane Warne �Sir�.

So starved are the English people of sporting success, the Queen made the entire team Members of the British Empire when England won the 2005 Ashes series against Australia. Captain Michael Vaughan and coach Duncan Fletcher were admitted to the Order of the British Empire. Paul Collingwood, who only played the last Test match, scoring 10 and 7, still got a gong. The currency seems a trifle debased.

While still a-courting the Australian public pre-election Labor leader Kevin Rudd sorta, kinda promised there would be a fresh debate about a republic if he was prime minister.  

We are still yet to see the colour of his flag on this one, but reviving the old honours system would devalue our own honours here. Who would want to be a Companion in the Order of Australia when you could be a knight of the realm? Rudd needs to politely let this through the keeper.  Australia�s critical shortage of dragons in need of slaying settles the issue for this correspondent.

And of course, just as Shane Warne�s ex-wife Simone might say: she who waits for her knight will probably end up cleaning up after his horse.