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I've had better days !

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Marlin47 View Drop Down
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  Quote Marlin47 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Topic: I've had better days !
    Posted: 05-Jun-2013 at 04:07
Any day that starts off with an utterly wasted drive of 120 miles to have my haircut, only to find that Phil, my hairdresser, had taken the day off to go to the funeral of his partner, Tony, who had died of AIDS, is unlikely to get better !   Sure enough, I got knicked for speeding, and on a very safe stretch of road where one can safely exceed over 150 MPH,with only the odd deer or pheasant to look out for ( rabbits not counting since they can be safely squashed  without undue encumbrance. As ever, the police were polite and respectful, although their level of deference seems to have declined over the past few 
years and I cannot remember when the last one doffed his cap like the Italian police do ( especially when I am driving the Aston ).

Upon arriving home, I found that my electric gates would not respond, something being trapped underneath one. It was a dead wood pigeon, and since they grow to the size of Christmas turkeys around here, the sodding thing had truly blocked the gates requiring me to find a stick to poke the mangled creature free.   I then noticed many feathers and the birds head on my lawn. Clearly, Moe, my wife's 
Boston Terrier, had been pursuing his favourite blood sport of pigeon assassination. Sure enough, up rocked the little sod liberrally bespattered with gore and feathers.   I had to rinse him off in the fountain before I could even be sure it was him. Of course, I could always put a crimp in his pathological 
determination to rid the World of pigeons, by putting a loud bell on his collar, but since the pigeons substantially foul all of my garden furniture by crapping all over it, I feel much more inclined to have Moe
fitted for a tiny shot gun and train him how to use it ; that'll thin the avian population out much faster !

As if to finish the day as it started, I was awakened in the small hours by the most awful screeching.
Since we have foxes often visit us in the night to feed on the bones our dogs sometimes leave on the terrace, and the yowl of a fox sounds very similar, I opened my bedroom window and let fly with both barrels. Alas, upon coming down to breakfast an hour ago I found I had shot Archie my favourite peacock.
Quite what he was doing on my terrace at three in the morning we will now never know, since he normally sleeps on the summerhouse roof some distance away, but he was getting old and was blind in one eye, so perhaps it was a mercy killing on my part.  In any event, I'll take him to the pub later - the pub specialising in foodstuffs of an unusual nature ; after all, wasn't roast peacock a favourite of
King Henry the Eight ?  If it was good enough for old Henery, it's certainly good enough for me !
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TheAlaniDragonRising View Drop Down
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  Quote TheAlaniDragonRising Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05-Jun-2013 at 08:35
Oh dear, Marlin47, mybe if you're packing nocturnally you should chip your pet fowl from now on, in order to be able to track it to stop such instances.

Edited by TheAlaniDragonRising - 05-Jun-2013 at 08:36
What a handsome figure of a dragon. No wonder I fall madly in love with the Alani Dragon now, the avatar, it's a gorgeous dragon picture.
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Marlin47 View Drop Down
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  Quote Marlin47 Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05-Jun-2013 at 09:20
Originally posted by TheAlaniDragonRising

Oh dear, Marlin47, mybe if you're packing nocturnally you should chip your pet fowl from now on, in order to be able to track it to stop such instances.


I've had all of the bloody dogs chipped, and I was considering doing the sum the wife and sprog - the better to record their manifold nefarious visits to the pub. Perhaps if I get a quote from the vet to do them and the remaing dozen or so peacocks and guinea fowl, I might get a discount for bulk !

Speaking of " packing " , I've been looking for many years for a good specimen of a Browning .32 automatic. I located one a couple of years ago, but since it came in a presentation box with silencer, holster, cleaning kit etc. , the price was more than I wanted to pay. I've now found a grand specimen within my price range, so she's mine. I know that they are considered ladies handbag guns by aficionados who like their Glocks and Desert Eagles, but for me the .32 Browning is truly the prettiest of automatics.
OK, maybe it's stopping power leaves something to be desired, but then I'd just empty the clip into a burglar anyway.......that'll bring tears to their eyes at the very least !
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