Tolerance: A woman’s perogative?

I was sharing my thoughts about homosexuality somewhere else but I'll post them here:

We don't have many gay rights in Bosnia and Herzegovina but things have improved a great deal. During the communist era, it was considered a social service for the police to rape known lesbians. You don't see this sort of ignorance and indifference anymore.

A lot of people think homosexuality is a disease of the West, that it arrived here with capitalism - but the younger generation is more open. There are a few Gay Muslim organizations, mostly lesbians (men are still timid to reveal such things about themselves) and there is probably going to be a gay parade next year.

Things will improve but the gay men will have to be very careful. They will have to step lightly, even if forcing them to do this is wrong. It is the same with women. We had to earn our rights without confrontation. If we had burned bras and insulted men, we'd still be veiled housewives. We had to simply work twice as hard for a few generations, earn respect, and then demand compensation for our contributions respectfully.

I think that's the only way gay rights will truly be realized here. It's not enough in Bosnia to just be gay, to just be "Hey, I'm the gay man!". You have to be a politician, or an artist, or a doctor, or a shoemaker, or a goldsmith - a respected and admired man in the community - who happens to be gay - and then, with a few generations of that, you will see gay rights here.

For example, Gazi Husrev-bey - one of the most important Ottoman governors of Bosnia and Herzegovina, was bisexual. His tomb at the largest mosque in Old Town Sarajevo includes a smaller tomb for his male lover.

Fuad Backovic, "Deen" who represented us with "In the Disco" in 2004, is a gay, Muslim man. He's never said so publicly, but everyone knows - obviously. When people think of gay men, sometimes men like Gazi Husref-bey and Fuad Backovic come to mind and since these two men are widely adored, it becomes not a strange thing anymore. That's what I think we need more of.

Interesting post, Mila. Here, in the USA, although some will never admit it, gays and lesbians are looked down upon in some areas. Few will admit that they don't want i.e. gay/lesbian teachers teaching their children, or to watch gays/lesbians making out and holding hands everywhere. I've often heard women commenting that there are less and less straight men for them to date nowadays. Most unattached straight women that I know have commented to me that the first question they ask a potential "victim" date is if they are gay or bi-sexual. Most straight women said they will not date a bi-sexual man, and often comment that if a guy is extremely good-looking, he's bound to be gay....most of the time, they are right!


I, for one, don't care about anyone's sexual preferences. Just as I am sure that I am not lesbian, others are sure that they are and they should have the right to express same and live their lives in the way that makes them happy.

My motto: Live and let live.